Why “New Year, New Me” Rarely Sticks — How to Build Habits That Last
As the New Year comes aboast many of us feel the urge to create New Year’s resolutions, to start over and create a new version of ourselves. We get this new found motivation when the calendar hits January 1st to overhaul our life, start new habits regarding our health, our work, start reading, start meditating, the list goes on. Then by March 1st, the habits are already falling off, back to our old routines, not working out, not reading, not meditating. I'm here to say it; New Year's resolutions don't work. But why is this? Simply speaking, our brains tend to give up too quickly. When we set the “what” in what we want for our “future you” without setting up systems and strategies, we are leaving room for failure.
Contrary to what the internet or social media might tell you, you don't need a twelve step morning routine, to take a kitchen sink full of supplements and only drink green juice and matcha for breakfast just to be healthy, successful or thriving in life. What if I told you that you can do it messy, you can do it when nothing looks perfect, and without doing twelve different steps starting at 5am just to be healthy, successful or meet your goals. What if you could drink coffee in the morning, do movement that you love, and eat food you actually enjoy, and not work for thirteen hours a day. What no one is telling you about creating true habits that stick is that you don't need a lot of them and they don't need to be perfect everyday. Truth is that by overhauling your life on January first, you are trying to go from current you to future you in one day and that is just not sustainable or realistic for most of us. So lets try this instead, create intentions for what you want your year to look like, where are you at by the end of the year? Write them down, put them on your phone home screen or somewhere you can see them. Then write down three things you can do tomorrow to move yourself in that direction and do those things. Yes, only tomorrow. This keeps your focus present and keeps the goals in action. Do this every morning while you're drinking your coffee or making breakfast. and yes, this practice is for everyday. While you're doing each task picture where this is taking you. Maybe reading 15 minutes this morning is pushing you to the goal of reading 15 books this year. Once you do those three things, celebrate yourself by doing something small that you love like getting yourself a coffee at your favorite coffee shop, making your favorite lunch or going on a walk with a friend.
While it may seem like “how can doing just three things per day make any movement?” You'd be surprised at how three small things per day can make big movements over time. Maybe it's writing 5 pages a day of the book you've been wanting to write, over the course of a year you will have written 1,825 pages, that's the equivalent of about six books! Or going on a 30 minute walk every morning, you will have walked 10,950 minutes or 182.5 hours by the end of the year! Or maybe you want to spend more time with friends, by planning one dinner per week with friends (2 hours per dinner), by the end of the year you will have spent 104 hours cultivating friendships.
Create microhabits you know you can stick to, even on your least motivated days mitigate failure by creating systems. This takes into account that even when you're tired, you don't feel like it, or have a very busy day you can still fit three small micro habits into your life, which in turn cultivates confidence over time. It's not about all or nothing thinking and it's not about being perfect, it's about the things you do on most days that matter. If I could leave you with one thing moving into the New Year is that New Years Day is not the only time to start, you can start any day, change is always available to you, and that you can do it when everything looks messy or when it is not the perfect time because there is no perfect time to start, just start with three small things per day.
- Marisa Hope